I still love attending our local Le Leche League meetings even though we don’t have many breastfeeding issues anymore.
One of the things they always mention at these meetings is “You’ll hear a lot of things here at Le Leche League meetings but our only stance is on breastfeeding. For everything else, take what works for you and leave the rest”.
Take what works for you and leave the rest. That right there has been one of the biggest pieces of wisdom when it comes to parenting our kids. There are SO many methods out there and some just work better for some parents that others.
I’ve read so many parenting books and each one has a tendency to make me feel like I’m not doing this right. I’m harming my child because I haven’t been following this method to a T.
If I don’t spank my child, they’re going to grow up to be a brat because they never had consequences for their actions. If I do spank my child, they’re rebel and be a brat because I’m being an authoritarian and not treating them with kindness.
If I don’t put my kid on a schedule, they’ll never learn structure and they’ll be late for everything. If I do put my kid on a schedule, they’ll never learn how to be creative (or something like that).
That kind of logic goes with every method and theory out there. And quite frankly, both sides can put up a very convincing argument, even if it is flawed (because I do believe they all are a little bit).
But what if there is no perfect child rearing method? What if it’s a pick-what-feels-right-to-you-deep-down-in-your-gut type of thing. What if what feels right in your gut isn’t 100% one method? Maybe it’s a hefty dose of gentle parenting with a little tough love here and there for those difficult situations.
Each parent brings something different to the table, different childhoods, upbringing, priorities and personalities. And not only that, each of our children have different personalities that will react to our personalities differently.
We’re constantly bombarded with advice and while some of it’s helpful, no one family has exactly the same dynamic as ours. Which is why God gave each of us a will and an intellect to help us discern these tough parenting choices.
So maybe, when if feels like you’re doing it all wrong, it’s the parenting method that’s not working and not the way you’re implementing it. Maybe you need to pick what’s working from that method and leave the rest.
Does one particular parenting method work 100% for you? Or is it just me that finds these things don’t work perfectly across the board?
Image from Dollar Photo Club.