I’ve mentioned a couple times that we’ve used a midwife with both our kids.
I remember being so confused about where to even start or what questions to ask when we first started down this road. So I thought I might share how we went about finding ours.
Luckily, I had friends who had gone through the process before and were able to help me out a little bit. But for those of you who don’t have that support system, here are a few of the things we did.
Why a Midwife
I’m not going to get into all the medical things on this one. I suggest doing your research, you can check out my post here on my favorite resources.
Both births were wonderful, peaceful and amazing experiences for both Jordan and I (something you don’t hear much from the medical world). We had the same midwife both times and we absolutely love her.
We were able to build up a strong relationship with her during the pregnancies, which I think really helped with it came time to labor. I knew I could trust her and that she knew what she was doing. I felt comfortable with her and that helped me relax and focus on the task at hand when I went into labor.
Where to Look
When we got pregnant with Noah, Jordan and I had only been living in our area for a few months. All my friends in the area hadn’t had kids yet so I didn’t have anyone to ask for recommendations.
Le Leche League – I had never gone to a meeting, but they support breastfeeding. I figured at least one of the leaders would know of a good midwife in the area. I emailed a couple of the leaders and they sent me a couple of names. You can search for a group in your area here.
Doulas – I didn’t do this, but if you know or can find a doula, they’ll know of several of the doctors and midwives in your area. They’ll also probably have some great insight on what it’s like to work with them too.
Bradley Method Teachers – The Bradley Method is a relaxation technique used in childbirth (which I highly recommend). The teachers in your area will know of at least a couple midwives and will probably know a little bit about them too. You can search for a teacher here.
Google – Try searching for things like “Midwives in [your area]”. I came across all kinds of forums and blog posts that talked about the midwives in my area. I decided not to even meet with one of them because people kept talking about how she was difficult to work with, personality wise.
Interviewing the Midwives
After coming up with a few names, start emailing or calling them. I found it especially helpful to meet in person.
I had a list of interview questions that I brought when I met each midwife. I wrote down their answers and then Jordan and I talked about the pros and cons of each midwife.
I want to see how our personalities meshed, how they treated us, how they answered questions, etc…
Things to Keep In Mind
Experience – Because Noah was my first, I wanted an experienced midwife. That automatically eliminated several that we interviewed. I just wasn’t comfortable with a woman who hadn’t attended more than 50 births on her own. I needed to feel confident in her ability to handle any situation that might come up.
Personalities – I wanted our personalities to mesh. This was secondary to them being experienced, after all, I was putting my life and my babies in her hands. However, I didn’t want someone with a super harsh personality if I could help it. I had a really difficult pregnancy with Noah and the last thing I needed was someone yelling at me.
Our midwife was very understanding and I felt comfortable asking her all those potentially awkward questions that come up with pregnancy and postpartum.
Crunchy Scale – It’s also important to keep in mind where the midwife falls on the crunchy scale. There are some that prefer herbs and homeopathic remedies and there are others who prefer more traditional medicine. I tend to have really bad reactions to modern medicine so I leaned towards the crunchier side of the spectrum. But it’s all about what you are comfortable with.
Free Printable Interview Questions
As you go through the process of interviewing each midwife, it’s helpful to ask each of them the same questions and take notes as you go. I know it helped to look at everything on paper when it came time to making our decision.
So I created a list of questions to ask and created a free printable for you to bring with you.
Have you gone through the process of finding a midwife? Do you have any tips or suggestions?